Be Like BESSIE!

Be Like Bessie!

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”―Ralph Waldo Emerson

A few days each week during the winter I work in a giant laboratory studying the behavior of vast numbers of people. My specific areas of interest are the characteristics of patience and kindness while in pursuit of happiness and outdoor adventure. More specifically, I am a greeter at a New England ski area. From this vantage point I have face-to-face contact with hundreds of men, women and children of all ages. The stories my colleagues and I collect could fill a book. (Hey, that’s an idea!)

One of a Greeter’s responsibilities, beyond welcoming guests and answering basic questions, is to be sure each visitor’s wait in the line to purchase lift tickets is as short as possible, hopefully no more that 7-15 minutes on the most crowded days. This is no mean feat in the age of data collection required for the issuance of a re-usable RFID card that can be detected by a scanner in the pocket of even the most high tech parka. We also draw the short straw sometimes and have to facilitate traffic flow in the “drop off” area. If the entire ski area is the laboratory, then this particular area is the active Petri dish. . Maybe we should put up a sign that says, “Remember! Children are watching and listening.”

If I was looking to hire people to build a team for a task that required intense, cooperative effort in a stressful situation, I’d insist on seeing videos of how these job candidates handled their cars, friends, family and Greeters in the “drop off” area. Surely I’d learn more than any resume or interview could reveal.

Since we Greeters spend most of our time managing ticket lines, that’s where the best stories come from. Just the other day a person was in such a hurry to get his ticket that instead of walking through the short, simple, ten-foot, back and forth maze to the ticket window, this “gentleman” ducked under the ropes to take a more direct route, knocking over several stanchions, which he did not fix. He may have saved a full three seconds getting to the ticket window. I just smiled at him sympathetically. You know, one of those smiles that says, “I hope you get better soon.”

We greeters pick up a wonderful assortment of sound bites or snippets from the hundreds of conversations that swirl around us. My all-time favorite came from two brothers, strolling past with their arms on each other’s shoulders. The older brother looked at his younger sibling and said, “Hey, your wife’s happy and your girlfriend’s happy. I think everything is going to be fine.” Then they disappeared into the crowd leaving me with a number of questions that will forever go unanswered.

I’ve been thinking of asking management to position a large video screen in the ticket line waiting area showing highlights of good and bad behavior of guests collected over the course of the winter season. We would obscure the faces to prevent law suits, but the instructional value would be powerful…and highly entertaining.

Most people waiting in line to purchase tickets fall into one of three categories:

Group A. “I am too important to have to wait in line with all of these other people. Can’t you do something?”

Group B. “It’s too bad the wait is so long. Have you considered ways that might make things move more efficiently?”

Group C. “I’m not at work, I’m in a beautiful place and eventually we are going to have a great day on the slopes.”

The hybrid of groups B and C is my personal favorite. By the way, guests can purchase their tickets online at a reduced price and eliminate or greatly shorten their wait in line. It’s a reward for those thoughtful people who plan ahead. Let’s call this Group S for smart.

So how does this all tie in with BESSIE’S STORY? It’s simple. Bessie is the model of patience. She’ll stand with her nose to a door calmly and peacefully if she wants to go outside. When it’s time for breakfast or dinner Bessie sits like an angel without barking, whining or grumbling. In her dark, fragrant world she somehow just knows that we’re going to do the best we can to take care of her needs. When we are going somewhere in the car she’ll hop in and sit calmly as long as necessary. Very few people can follow her example of poise and good manners. The only time Bessie ever acts or behaves as if she is the most important piece of the puzzle is when someone is playing retrieving games with her. She can be a little antsy during these times, but we understand.

I’ve said it before. The best way to make friends and influence people is to BE LIKE BESSIE. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. It's something I experience, but that's not where I live.―Marilyn Monroe.

Bessie made her first public appearances since being featured on the cover of our book “BESSIE’S STORY - Watching the Lights Go Out”. She attended a book signing at the Hickory Stick Bookshop in Washington Depot, Connecticut and starred in a presentation at Rumsey Hall School in the same town. In the process she picked up lots of new friends and cemented her notoriety. Bessie must have received a thousand pats and scratches―people just wanted to touch her. It was amazing. She now knows what the Beatles felt like in the 1960s.

It was comforting to witness the calm, controlled way Bess handled her temporary celebrity. During the book signing she came over and nudged my arm. “I’ve had enough of this,” she seemed to be saying. “Let’s go somewhere fun.” Three days later she fell sound asleep in an auditorium with 300 people watching from their seats. There she was, ignoring her fans like some bored Hollywood star, except she wasn’t pretending to be aloof. It was genuine. From her perspective the room was empty.

Two moments stand out from the student assembly. We showed a video of Bessie carrying a long stick in her mouth which she tried to negotiate over a fallen tree. There were oohs and ahs from the kids as she struggled to find a way past the obstacle without giving up her treasure. Finally, when she figured it out after a full minute of trial and error, the crowd erupted in an unexpected, enthusiastic roar of approval. I’d like to think that the students were resolving to have the same perseverance when they returned to their classes, friendships, families and other interests.

The second thunderclap of applause came at the very end of the assembly. I woke Bessie from her nap and called her up on stage. Sitting alertly, she faced the audience as I placed a cookie on her nose and told her to stay. For Bessie, that cookie was the absolute center of the universe. When I said, “okay”, she snapped at it and… missed. Three more times she failed to capture the treat as the groans and encouragement escalated with each attempt, blending like tea and honey. On the fifth try Bessie caught the cookie in her mouth and the audience exploded. It sounded like one of those class cheers at the end of a graduation ceremony. The place went NUTS! It’s a good thing Bessie can’t sign autographs.

Here is what Bessie and I hope the students (and teachers) took away from our meeting that day:

We all have insecurities and flaws that can hold us back if we let them. Accept your weaknesses, deal with them and move on.
Asking for help and giving help are essential to being successful and happy.
Being around people with physical or intellectual handicaps or disabilities should bring out the same characteristics Bessie elicits. Share your genuine interest, offer assistance and show affection.

A final thought: I am glad Bessie didn’t hear all the positive comments from her performance, though I doubt she’d change one little bit. That’s what makes her such a star.

Be Like BESSIE!

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. It's something I experience, but that's not where I live.―Marilyn Monroe.

Here is what Bessie and I hope the students (and teachers) took away from our meeting that day:

We all have insecurities and flaws that can hold us back if we let them. Accept your weaknesses, deal with them and move on.

Asking for help and giving help are essential to being successful and happy.

Being around people with physical or intellectual handicaps or disabilities should bring out the same characteristics Bessie elicits. Share your genuine interest, offer assistance and show affection.

A final thought: I am glad Bessie didn’t hear all the positive comments from her performance, though I doubt she’d change one little bit. That’s what makes her such a star.